Tag: advice

  • For me, one of the lures of subspace is how my mind shuts down and I’m able to finally relax.

    My ability to do complex, higher-functioning mental tasks is basically turned off. I can’t handle a hypothetical, or evaluate a situation, or make simple logical leaps to come to an otherwise-obvious conclusion. Like Alexa or Siri, I can parse your words, but I can’t process the context or give you answers to questions unless you’ve phrased them in a particular way.

    I’m not sure if many Doms know this. And maybe it’s just me, and not something that generalizes to other submissives. But there’s a huge difference between open-ended questions (“What happens next?”) and leading questions (“You know what happens next, right?”).

    With leading questions, I can figure out what the “right” answer should be, even with my limited faculties whilst drifting in subspace. However, open questions cause me to freak out a little (and can destroy the headspace) because I can’t figure out the answer — and then I feel like I’m disappointing my Dom.

    Doms: Please, could you phrase your questions in such a way that it implies the answer? Yup, that’s another leading question — lots and lots of questions like this, please.

    Subs: Is this something that you also experience? What is it like for you?

    A motivational quote on a sign with eyeglasses in front, sitting on a wooden table outdoors.