Tag: reflection

  • I have some pretty mixed feelings about maintenance spankings.

    I’m not a fan of punishing, or being punished, without there being a good reason. My mind and my heart are the most relaxed and comfortable when the world is more clearly black and white, where good deeds are recorded and bad things are punished.

    Maintenance spankings should definitely be a part of that.

    Ideally, a sub or a slave should to be spanked because it has done an acceptable job. But the reality of the world mean that it will inevitably make mistakes, whether the slave is aware of it or not.

    So I “enjoy” maintenance spankings. In my mind, it is important to have a regular avenue for the punishing and forgiving of the guilt that I feel, even if I can’t remember them. It’s for things like not holding the door for others, or accidentally saying the wrong things, or maybe having the wrong kind of thoughts.

  • pup owner

    The greatest joy and reward of being a pup — especially being @LifestyleOwner’s pup — is the deep sense of belonging and ownership. I finally began to feel it a few days ago, when I woke up one morning and realized that, for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel lonely. Even though I had woken up alone, as I often am, I no longer felt lonely.

    Even though rationally I knew that I was in Chicago and he in Houston, it felt like he was only in the other room, and all I needed to do was to get up and wander over and I’d see him there.

    My owner is not only my owner and my Dominant, but he is my best friend and the center of my universe. In pup space, he is the partner of cuddles, the giver of treats, and the source of scritches. He is all things good and happy; he is my owner, and I am his pup, and I am so much better because of it.

  • I see my humans as being part of a higher power. There are things that humans can do that I cannot.

    Pups don’t have opposable thumbs like humans do, so it’s harder for me to open things or fetch things that don’t easily fit into my mouth. But pups also don’t have the same social skills as humans do, so it’s harder for me to understand how people are feeling without nudging them with my snout to ask them.

    I think being a human is exhausting. Life as a pup is much easier. The world is a lot simpler — treats come when being good, discipline comes when being bad. Bark when happy, whine when sad; hide in the cage when scared, and howl for attention when upset.

    People are complicated. People have feelings and emotions, they need sympathy and empathy and interacting with them requires much more brain processing and conscious thought. What’s the right thing to do here? How will what I say impact them? How do I take responsibility for the consequences of my actions?

    Life is hard.


  • For me, one of the lures of subspace is how my mind shuts down and I’m able to finally relax.

    My ability to do complex, higher-functioning mental tasks is basically turned off. I can’t handle a hypothetical, or evaluate a situation, or make simple logical leaps to come to an otherwise-obvious conclusion. Like Alexa or Siri, I can parse your words, but I can’t process the context or give you answers to questions unless you’ve phrased them in a particular way.

    I’m not sure if many Doms know this. And maybe it’s just me, and not something that generalizes to other submissives. But there’s a huge difference between open-ended questions (“What happens next?”) and leading questions (“You know what happens next, right?”).

    With leading questions, I can figure out what the “right” answer should be, even with my limited faculties whilst drifting in subspace. However, open questions cause me to freak out a little (and can destroy the headspace) because I can’t figure out the answer — and then I feel like I’m disappointing my Dom.

    Doms: Please, could you phrase your questions in such a way that it implies the answer? Yup, that’s another leading question — lots and lots of questions like this, please.

    Subs: Is this something that you also experience? What is it like for you?

    A motivational quote on a sign with eyeglasses in front, sitting on a wooden table outdoors.